To marry or not to marry

A night out in my home town on Thursday night and I tried to do the usual things in an unusual way.

I went to Ki, the Bay Street (Toronto's Wall Street), after-work hang out to meet a couple of Bay Street working friends.  I must say that the mood on Bay Street was very different from the mood I have experienced in London and New York.  The place was still packed, and people are still spending money.  

So I tried some of my new skills on for size:  looking people in the eye and smiling - even if they are not perfect for me, letting them come to me, keeping my posture relaxed . . . and it was quite easy to meet people (men).  Unfortunately, the first man I met was a bit of a nerd, but in a good way, complimented me on my nails (odd that I liked that, but I did - I think I liked it because it was after I made a really superficial comment about not wanting to go rock-climbing because because it would ruin my nails, and rather than judging me he actually said they were nice), and was married.  I tried to check for a ring several times but he was particularly adept at hiding his left hand so I gave up and ASSUMED that since his friend had no ring, and he was inching closer and closer to me on the bench that he likely was single, AND coming from London - the land of love where the majority of men who approach you are ACTUALLY single, I was a bit naive about his motives. 

So I left with my friend to go and see her man-friend, and it so happened that we were both planning to end up at One in Yorkville afterwards (where I would be meeting another girlfriend) so I said maybe I'll see you?  I didn't have my hopes up, because the new me has very low expectations of the outcomes of such meetings, but I did have an ulterior motive in taking his number and making sure to show up at One.  He and his friends are looking for a singer to compete with them in a Rock Band competition at a Bay Street Bar.  Bay Street and Karaoke is a no-brainer. 

So . . . later that night at One, I walked in and pretended not to notice him and went to the bar to order an $8 rum and coke with $2 flavour from an un-impressed bartender. Everyone around pretended to be absorbed in their conversations while noticing who was there, and who was noticing that they were there.  Oh Toronto how I've missed playing the game of polite condescension. . .

I started to speak with a man who was also waiting for his friend to show up, and then the ring-hiding banker noticed me and got up from his table to talk.  It took me about two hours to finally see the glint of his ring - in a moment when it was not hiding in his pocket, under his glass or hanging at the end of his limp arm behind his chair.  He had been a total gentleman up to that point and was speaking to both my friend and I with equal enthusiasm so I had no  reason not to invite him to Amber with us.  

Amber was actually fun.  It was also full of people there strictly to determine who deserved to be in their company and who did not, BUT the Dj was playing some really fun music so I decided to let loose.  The ring-hider was game for dancing and we all lived it up on the dance floor (he periodically disappeared for stretches where he had long intense conversations with women at the bar and returned with a mitt-full of drinks for us).  

I had attracted a little posse of gay men to dance with me and a couple of potential men that I could meet and was about to make my move towards a sweet-faced Italian (I know - I should know better by now) when the ring-hider decided it was time to get all touchy feely.  I did my best to discourage him by making him do the back-to-back air guitar dance, but it was no good.  I thought about telling him that it was not ok to cock block no matter how much he had given the bouncer to let us in, but I figured I would get the - we're only dancing response and then feel like an asshole.  So, I just continued to dance around him and ignore his 'moves' until he finally decided to leave.  

I obviously have some sort of married guy magnetic energy.  How do I erase this from my energy?  Is it because I want to be married - so I therefore attract the ones who are already?

I am getting pretty close to not wanting to be married - maybe it will change when I finally let go of that idea . . .